Drinkability? Really?
As I sit here drinking a single can of Bud Light that’d been left over by a friend, it reminds me of the God-awful ad campaign that we’ve all seen on TV – that of course being the $50 million effort by the Anheiser-Busch Corporation that authoritatively dictates that “The Difference is Drinkability“.
Really? Drinkability? What the hell is drinkability? Is this even a real word?
As I typed “Drinkability”, the word processor automatically placed a thin red line under the word to signify a misspelling. After quickly verifying that the word appeared exactly as it appeared in the Bud Light ads, I deduced that the word simply isn’t a real word at all. This is usually the case when the red line appears without there actually being a spelling or grammatical error involved (interestingly enough, the word “Anheiser-Busch” does not attract such a red line).
So I looked it up on the infallible web resource Merrian-Webster.com.
It turned out that “Drinkability” is a word after all. The definition as read was:
“Suitable or safe for drinking.”
There’s a lot of really bad advertising out there. I could probably write a separate blog entirely dedicated to criticising commercials that annoy me. But every once and again, I see a slogan or a tag line that truly irritates me to the point of lunacy every time I am subjected to it. And since I watch a lot of pro football, I am forced to endure such idiocy on a very regular basis.
This phrase though, it fails on so many levels. Not only does it just simply sound retarded and grates on my nerves every time I hear or read it, it doesn’t make any sense.
The difference? I’m sorry. I thought all light beers were exactly the same. Thank you, kind folks in the marketing firm that were contracted by the Bud Light people for performing such a dutiful act as to put forth this enlightening public service announcment.
Is drinkability? Now I am truly confused. So the other light beers are unsuitable or unsafe for drinking? So beers such as Coors Light, Miller Lite and Milwaukee’s Best Light are poisonous? OK they may have a point about Beast Light, but that notwithstanding, isn’t it at least somewhat slanderous to declare in a national ad campaign that the competitors’ products are unsuitable for consumption?
I am forced to consider that the overall annoyance of the beer drinking population is not just a byproduct of such an atrocious ad slogan, but rather the intended effect of such a campaign. Their marketing people can’t be that dumb, can they? They have to anticipate to some degree how their commercials are going to affect the credibility of their brand, right? What other conclusion can there be?
The funny thing is, I know a fair amount of seasoned beer drinkers. And Bud Light is about as low on the list of choices as a name brand beer can get for most everyone I know. I am confident that if given the choice between Bud Light and pretty much ANY other beer, I’d choose the alternative. I am sure there are beers that taste like fermented goat piss, but at least they taste like something.
Now, this post would be completely useless unless I proposed some sort of solution to this. So I offer this: For $5 million, which is a bargain I might say, I will create a tagline that will not only hit a home-run with your target market, it’ll present truth in advertising, which will lead to the brand-credibility that is so eagerly coveted. Here’s a mock up:
