Rihanna: Failed Role Model
When the story of the Rihanna/Chris Brown fiasco first broke last month, I used the occasion to teach my seven year old daughter about violence against women. I iterated, in no uncertain terms, that it is NEVER ok for a man to hit a woman in any situation. We all know that the one obvious exception to this is when the woman is named Courtney Love or Nancy Grace; then by all means, whack away (I didn’t tell her this part, as I am careful not to confuse her with the facts).
There weren’t really any details available at first, other than that he fucked her up badly enough to cause her to cancel her performance at the Grammys and her subsequent offshore tour. Then, photographs of her battered face were plastered everywhere, courtesy of the leeches at TMZ.
Look at her face. Take a long hard look at what that spineless, dickless piece of shit Chris Brown did to her. When I first saw the damage, I remember thinking to myself that this isn’t the result of a momentary snap. It’s one thing to lose your temper for a half second and do or say something you regret. This picture clearly demonstrates that she was struck repeatedly on both sides of her face – the result of a conscious, deliberate, malicious act. In short, he beat the shit out of her.
I genuinely felt bad for Rihanna, which is a rarity when I hear about celebrities that get themselves into bad situations. Then a few days ago, it was reported that Rihanna and Brown were back together again. Fuck it. I dismissed the whole thing as no longer worthy of my attention at that point. I irrevocably applied the ever so common “Stupid Bitch” moniker in my mind and forgot about it as best I could. I knew that ignoring this entirely would be like trying to sleep eight hours right after eating two Ecstasy pills, but suffice it to say that I no longer cared. I chalked it up that she’s a young, insecure stupid girl, so afraid of being alone that she’d rather try to change a raging asshole into something he’ll never be.
Then the news broke a couple of days ago that he was arrested and charged with two felonies. Out of sheer boredom, I read the article and was appalled by the details of the police report.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/05/chris.brown.charged/index.html?eref=rss_latest
Here is an excerpt:
“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. (Rihanna) as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.
“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.
“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.
“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the s–t out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’ “
The detective said she then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant … who did not answer.
“Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’
“After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’
“Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.
“Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.
“Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.
“Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.
“Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle … and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.
“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.
“She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.
“Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.”
The mere brutality of this is sickening, but the fact that she is back with him after this is even worse. I am not going to speculate as to why, or discuss the psychology of the abuser/abused woman relationship. There is a lot of good information on the web already. I just find it completely sad that this was an opportunity for Rihanna to be a role model and demonstrate that young women don’t have to tolerate abuse. She had the chance to be strong, to show the courage that is necessary to make tough choices but ultimately to do what’s right for her. As a person thrust into the spotlight in the most uncomfortable of circumstances, she could have been an inspiration, a heroine. Who knows, she may even have saved someone’s life.
Instead, for whatever reason, she chose not to. She chose the path of the weak; the path chosen by millions of battered women – back into the arms of the man who almost killed her. And it’s truly a shame. Not only is it a sad example of a pathetically weakminded choice, but also with the lost possibility that someone in a similar situation might have found courage from this to bravely move on despite the fear impulses not to.
Reader Comments
Courtney Love is one of my biggest idols! And I’ll tell you something, she wouldn’t go back to a man who punched her, and that is a fact.
Very interesting to read the police report and interesting you and I both used to words ‘role model’ in our titles.
I don’t think it’s weak-minded though. I think it’s something else, it’s something he’s done to her.
Anyway, are they even back together? I havent seen them together yet.