Some of My Favorite Forms of Self Amusement: Part 1
Most people know by now that I am constantly in search of new stimuli for my amusement gland. Having the attention span of a turnip, this isn’t always the easiest thing to come by. That said, there are a few activities that never fail to put a smile on my face. Sometimes, in routine situations, you need to make your own fun.
These are things that you too can try at home.
Sometimes for fun I will complain to people in the food service industry, i.e. waitresses. It can be anything. Stains on a menu, the fact that the coffee cup is the size of a thimble, whatever. I also like to ask ridiculous questions about items on the menu, the decor, or just about the restaurant in general. Of course this has to be executed with a stoic, pseudo seriousness at first in order to get the proper reaction.
I generally determine the tip I leave not by the quality of the service, but by how well she interacts with my idiocy. The more fun she is, the better I tip her.
I am not rude about this, in fact it’s mostly done in a lighthearted way that is nothing more than a ploy to get the waitress to engage me in menial conversation. Yes, I do this in front of Angie, who just shakes her head and accuses me of flirting. I don’t do this to be snarky or malicious, I just find great enjoyment in interacting with people in ways that make them unsure of how to deal with me. Call me a people person. I take satisfaction in the fact that I am most likely a bright spot in an otherwise dull environment. Think about it. Have you ever had a job waiting tables? It’s fucking monotonous. Same with cashiers at the grocery store. They’re basically perceived as anonymous peons who only get noticed when they fuck something up. I am sure they enjoy the break from the boredom. So in essence, I am performing a public service by doing this.
I do not, however, engage male servants in this manner, as that would be gay.
Do you have any unusual activities that are always good for a grin? Drop a comment below, I’d love to hear them!!
