Sarah Palin: A Satirist’s Dream
I am only writing this for the attention.
You see, I’ve developed a little bit of an obsession with watching my Alexa rank grow on both of my sites. It’s cool to see genuine progress and to know that readership is growing – which is solely the result of creating good content. As of this writing, the Alexa rank for this site sits at 683,074 and number 88,000 in the United States, and TheSportsDick.com just cracked the top 1 million. Not that this in and of itself is overly impressive – it isn’t. But, it’s a lot better than the rank of 2.5 million I had just a couple of months ago. Plus, as bloggers go, it’s sort of how we keep score. So, in an effort to further boost my score and ego I’ve decided to try to piss off Sarah Palin.
What gave me this idea? If you’ve watched any of David Letterman this week, you know that he and Palin have been bickering about what he said in one of his monologues earlier this week about her oldest daughter, Bristol. In case you missed it, Letterman said something to the effect that Palin was keeping an eye on her daughter to make sure she didn’t get impregnated by Alex Rodriguez during their recent trip to New York. The Alaska Governor took offense and lashed out at Dave. Here is a video from ABC News. John McCain has also jumped in on the Letterman bashing, saying, “I don’t understand why Letterman would say that about a young woman,” McCain said during a telephone interview on Thursday. “They (the Palins) deserve some kind of protection from being the butt of late-night hosts.”
Source: weeklystandard.com
This is hilarious. Not the joke Letterman made – I actually thought it was kind of lame and only affirmed why Jay Leno kicked his ass for years on end. But for Palin to take offense to that and speak out publicly, after all the negative shit that’s already been said about her is just awesome. Her daughter got knocked up at the age of 17. Why did this happen? Who knows, but one thing I do know is that teenagers fuck. Nothing you say to them is going to prevent it from occurring if that’s what they decide to do. But what you do have control over is the amount of education they get on the subject. Many parents fail at this for a variety of reasons ranging from inherit discomfort with discussing the subject to assuming that they already know what precautions to take. But, the preferred method of sex education among the religiously convicted is to preach abstinence. Just don’t do it and you’ll have no problems. While this is fundamentally true, it isn’t practical. Now I don’t know how much effort the Palins have put into enlightening their children on this very important topic, but I would say that their oldest daughter’s teenage pregancy probably occurred at least in part due to their failure in this department.
For John McCain to say that they deserve protection from scrutiny or mockery is doubly laughable – almost to the point of lunacy. If something is in bad taste, THE PUBLIC WILL RESPOND. Think about that. If Letterman had said something totally out of line or racist or whatever, no one would watch him and that would be the end of it. Besides, Sarah Palin put her family in this position. Obviously, she had no experience whatsoever with having every detail of her life put under a microscope. But that’s the world outside of Alaska, USA. She didn’t have to accept the nomination as McCain’s running mate. If she hadn’t, no one would ever have known about her preganat daughter, or her idiotic perspectives on Russia, or anything else. She wouldn’t have embarrassed herself in numerous interviews that no amount of coaching could have prepared her for. Maybe she didn’t know what she was getting herself and her family into, but that doesn’t change the fact that she still said yes. So, her or McCain or any other apologist who thinks that she should get a pass is simply wrong. Seriously, why should she be let off the hook? Because she’s not smart? Because she’s a hockey mom? Because she’s a Fundie? Because she’s a ‘Maverick’?
Source: photobucket.com
The thing is, and all experienced politicians know this, publicly focusing on these types of issues only accomplishes one thing: they blow the situation out of proportion. Furthermore, they force more and more people to pay attention – people who’d otherwise been ignorant to the subject – like me. I don’t even watch CBS. But I learned of this confrontation when I stumbled upon a news story that was reporting the fact that she called him out. To look at it another way, I don’t watch Letterman so I didn’t hear what he said. Then Palin responded but I didn’t hear that either. Then a news program reported that she was mad about what he said and that’s how I found out. Now people like me are writing blog posts about it so even more people are going to find out. Out of all of this, the only person who will benefit in the end is Letterman. The Tonight Show has been getting ALL the attention as of late with Leno stepping aside and such. This is a much needed boost and old Dave should run with the momentum. I can’t wait to see what Conan does to top him. Maybe he’ll say something mean about Sasha and Malia?
I know you’re probably wondering how I think Sarah Palin is even going to know this blog post exists. Honestly, I highly doubt she’ll ever see it. But I’ve used her name a bunch of times in this article, which should make it more visible to search engines, and it might even show up on her Google Alerts. So there’s always a chance.
So Governor Palin, if you’re reading this, I would greatly appreciate it if you would maybe say a mean thing or two about me and post it on your Facebook page or maybe tweet it or something. I could really use a popluarity boost. Just don’t forget to post a link.
