Brain Drain
One of my old writing techniques was to simply sit at a keyboard and type. I Just typed whatever came into my head for a set period of time. I called it a Brain Drain. This method was fantastic for curing writer’s block and is really helpful for coming up with stuff to write about. I usually didn’t save them, I just picked them clean until the good stuff was all used up. Anyhow, I found one that I did save from three and a half year years ago. It probably should be noted that I was not on drugs when I wrote this.
There are really only three rules:
1) You must not stop typing.
2) You must go until the end – I always did 30 minutes. You can go longer if needed.
3) No use of the backspace key, arrow keys or the mouse. The point is to spill your guts out raw. You can’t do that effectively if you’re worrying about spelling and grammar. You’re not writing with the intent of publishing.
Originally Written 11-30-05 (I cleaned up the grammar and spelling for readability’s sake)
I just make the statement, I don’t choose how people are going to react or feel about it, nor do I care.
Most things I say are either funny or offensive. They are not funny to everyone. They are not offensive to everyone. It is likely that the majority of people will experience one of two emotional reactions to most of the things I say; either they will be amused or they will be offended. A very small group of people will both amused and offended at the same time. Those kinds of people are my favorite audience.
I am a realist, not an optimist. Is there really a difference between a cynic and a pessimist? I should look it up. I’ll get back to you on that.
Is it really better to be lucky than good? Luck really doesn’t exist. Luck is really nothing more than the occurrence of the improbable. There are two types of luck, good and bad.
Nice guys really do finish last.
If a meteor is to hit the earth and end mankind someday, I hope it happens during my lifetime. That’s something I’d like to witness. That’s how I want to die. That way no one will have to miss me.
Dying isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.
This is of course not all original material, nor is it all mine.
If I agree with it, I will say it.
Opinions aren’t really like assholes are they? Think about it. Not all opinions stink or are full of shit. Some are. I mean a lot are. But not all of them are. Some opinions are truly profound. A generalization such as this one is rather absurd, in my opinion.
Sometimes I wonder how I got such a negative view of the world. Then I remember how it happened. Two people influenced how I see things more than anyone I’ve ever met. My good friend, Terry Tackett, the ultimate self-deprecating cynic, and Jim Clark, the only college professor I have ever admired. I still have most of the literature he handed out in his classes and I reread it from time to time.
I met Terry Tackett while attending Adrian College, a miserable liberal arts college located in Adrian, MI.
OK so I cheated a little bit.
OK. Cynic: a faultfinding captious critic; especially: one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest; Cynical: contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives.
Pessimist: 1: an inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions, and possibilities or to expect the worst possible outcome;
2 a: the doctrine that reality is essentially evil b: the doctrine that evil overbalances happiness in lifeOK so they are different enough that one can consider themselves both a cynic and a pessimist yet they are close enough that they can be used synonymously.
It probably wouldn’t surprise you if I told you I hated Christmas would it?
Even thought I have a 4 yr old daughter, I still hate the holidays.
All the idiots come out during the holidays. And they’re all on the road at the exact same time. How did there get to be so many bad drivers?
And what the hell is with people rushing to these stores at 3AM, to wait in lines that wrap all the way around the goddamn building, to buy things that the store advertises in their flyers that they only have three of and they aren’t giving out rain checks. They call this Black Friday. People race down the isles and fight and claw and murder each other over this shit, because for a six hour span it is cheaper to buy than it usually is. Keep in mind these items will still be available after the sale ends, they will just cost more money. But, if you wait, not only will you have the added benefit of additional sleep, you can walk right up to the counter and pick the item up and put it in your cart. And you don’t have to worry about going to jail over a $99 stereo.
I don’t leave my house on Black Friday.
Some celebrities have influenced the way I see the world, most notably George Carlin, Denis Leary, and the author Chuck Palahniuk. Every now and again a movie character will strike a nerve in me. Some of those are Tyler Durden, Lester Burnham, and John Doe (from the movie ‘Seven’).
“Suicide is making a conscious decision not to exist.” – George Carlin
Let that sink in for a second.
I am not suicidal, so spare me the rhetoric. Thinking about Carlin made me think of that quote.
This is not a diary, don’t let me let it become one. No one really cares about how you feel about certain subjects, or any subject for that matter. I guess if you are reading this, then that statement really isn’t true is it?
I am talking to myself again.
Do you ever talk to yourself, as if you were someone else having a conversation with you? You always know what the other person wants to hear, don’t you?
“I don’t intend to offend, I just offend with my intent.”
“Minimal effort, maximum gain.”
Those are quotes from two different songs by the band ‘Anthrax”.
I don’t always know what my intention is. Not that I ever really did. I always seem to make it happen though. It’s good to have help available when you need it.
This is quite nice, being able to type every thought that comes into my head in a coherent yet unorganized collaboration. Spell checker is mighty helpful too.
A guy I used to work with would ask me every day, “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” Every fucking day for six months he asked me that. I don’t know why. I guess he was just so used to asking me off the wall shit and getting viable responses out of me that he kept raising the bar to stump me. I was never up to the task on that one though. If I ever run into him again, he will certainly ask, and I will still have to tell him that I got poopydick from his girlfriend last night just so he wouldn’t focus on my lack of a quality answer to his question. Maybe that is the answer; I would fuck his girlfriend in the ass for a Klondike Bar. But only with his dick of course.
