As we were walking back toward the dorm past the belltower, we were feeling much better after a breath of fresh air. I noticed a stiff crow lying on the ground. I kicked it at MKW, who squirmed like a little girl. I laughed and we went inside to watch The Simpsons.
A half hour later I was thinking about the dead crow and all the things we could do with it.
I was amazed at MKW’s drunken ingenuity, but after thinking about it, I decided no matter how good of friends Barry and I were, he’d surely murder our asses if we did that to him. Barry doesn’t like to be the butt of jokes.
Hi. I am a guy in my 20’s looking for a girl who is certifiably bat-shit crazy. I know you’re out there!!!
I am just sick and tired of meeting all of these normal, regular girls with their own jobs and places to live and their own money and their own cars. There are just simply way too many levelheaded, smart, articulate women out there today and I am bored with their stability. I want a stalker dammit!!!
Would you mind participating in our survey? I’ll only take a minute or two of your time.”
“OK, but I worship the devil,” I offered matter of factly.
Do you like quiet evenings sitting outside watching the sun set? Well you won’t be able to see it with two black eyes.
I know that I personify a simple refusal to grow up, and I don’t care very much either. But sometimes things happen that make me think that maybe I have taken things too far.
I checked the caller ID and it said the name of the same person who’d emailed me earlier that night. I was going to ignore it, as this person has a history of drunk dialing at all hours of the night, but he usually doesn’t leave messages if I don’t answer. So I dialed my voice mail just to make sure he wasn’t in jail or something.
Originally Published in Jan ‘07
One late summer Sunday afternoon back in 2006, Angie was attending a Party-Lite candle event, hosted by a friend of hers at the time, “Cassandra” . These are similar to the multi-level marketing schemes like Tupperware or sex-toy parties that [...]
I first would like to declare that I think rating systems are nothing more than chauvinistic devices for guys who are insecure about their small dicks.
Originally Posted August ‘07
You know what’s annoyed me for as long as I can remember? How these media assholes always refer to hurricanes [...]
Originally posted in June of ‘06.
(It has occurred to me that the title to this piece is quite inaccurate. The story actually has little to do with their wedding, since I wasn’t actually invited to their wedding, most likely due to Melanie’s inherent and completely unfounded fear that I would vehemently object numerous times during [...]
