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	<title>unpaidentertainer.com&#187; Unpaidentertainer.com</title>
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	<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com</link>
	<description>The Unfiltered Observations, Stories, Musings, and Humor of a Heedless, Misanthropic Extrovert</description>
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		<title>How is this Even Possible?</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2010/03/28/how-is-this-even-possible/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2010/03/28/how-is-this-even-possible/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Mar 2010 02:09:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[engagement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[engagement ring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ex wives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=648</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I know I said that I was done with my sophomoric musings on this site, but something so utterly ridiculous - so exponentially unlikely to have occurred that I have seriously begun to question my atheistic convictions to wonder if indeed that there is God out there somewhere, and that his contempt for me is so great that he has set his full and undivided attention and efforts toward fucking with me relentlessly.  It for this reason that I have come out of retirement, for one night only, to share this most unfortunate turn of events.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Classic Post: Pranking the Prankster</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/06/04/classic-post-pranking-the-prankster/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/06/04/classic-post-pranking-the-prankster/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:57:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Classic Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dead bird story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prank]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=390</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As we were walking back toward the dorm past the belltower, we were feeling much better after a breath of fresh air.  I noticed a stiff crow lying on the ground.  I kicked it at MKW, who squirmed like a little girl. I laughed and we went inside to watch The Simpsons.

A half hour later I was thinking about the dead crow and all the things we could do with it.

I was amazed at MKW's drunken ingenuity, but after thinking about it, I decided no matter how good of friends Barry and I were, he'd surely murder our asses if we did that to him.  Barry doesn't like to be the butt of jokes.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/06/04/classic-post-pranking-the-prankster/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Failed Attempt at Manliness</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/05/26/a-failed-attempt-at-manliness/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/05/26/a-failed-attempt-at-manliness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2009 15:54:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chauvinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=355</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am up there with your average accountant when it comes to the ability to solve problems mechanically.  I've always had the resource of skilled technicians who were usually willing to work for beer, so it's been rare for me to ever have to get my hands dirty myself and I tend to avoid doing so at all costs.

The motor fired up as expected. Satisfied, I began to mow. Then five seconds later, it goes cough, cough, bog down like it's in really heavy wet grass, cough some more, stall.

'A few bolts here, a few more there... this doesn't look too difficult', I thought to myself. I momentarily thought about taking it the lawn mower repair shop that is located about 1/2 mile from the house. No, I can handle this.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/05/26/a-failed-attempt-at-manliness/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Classic Post: Messing With a Bible Thumper</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/22/classic-post-messing-with-a-bible-thumper/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/22/classic-post-messing-with-a-bible-thumper/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2009 23:25:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Classic Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible thumper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religious fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarcasm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=295</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would you mind participating in our survey?  I'll only take a minute or two of your time."

"OK, but I worship the devil," I offered matter of factly.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/22/classic-post-messing-with-a-bible-thumper/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Poop Story</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/20/a-poop-story/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/20/a-poop-story/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:21:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Add new tag]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny email]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meijer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mexican food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tequila willy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=270</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Shortly after walking into the store, I felt the familiar first gurgle in my stomach that would imply that mudbutt was imminent.  The gurgle had that low pitched "bloop" feeling like when they first change the five-gallon container on the water cooler.  I clenched my butt-cheeks together, foolishly ignoring the churning sensation in my gut and proceeded to the back of the store to begin grocery shopping.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/20/a-poop-story/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Tales From the &#8216;Hood</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/15/tales-from-the-hood/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/15/tales-from-the-hood/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:59:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Commentary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drug dealers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gang  bangers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ghetto]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grand rapids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shooting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[violence]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=159</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Part one in a series of stories about my adventures living in an urban neighborhood in the city of Grand Rapids.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/15/tales-from-the-hood/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Little Overly Cautious Are We?</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/04/a-little-overly-cautious-are-we/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/04/a-little-overly-cautious-are-we/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:13:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Commentary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad customer service]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[common sense]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cops]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[donut shop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=179</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This 19 year old girl was hellbent on securing the safety of her minimum wage job by egregiously disregarding common sense and basic customer service.  ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/04/a-little-overly-cautious-are-we/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>An Exemplary Demonstration of Parenting Skills</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/01/an-exemplary-demonstration-of-parenting-skills/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/01/an-exemplary-demonstration-of-parenting-skills/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:39:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heavy metal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kelly osbourne]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[raining blood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seasons in the abyss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slayer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bury me with lots of sunblock when I die, because I am certainly going to hell for this.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/04/01/an-exemplary-demonstration-of-parenting-skills/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Classic Post: A Moment of Reflection</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/03/24/classic-post-a-moment-of-reflection/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/03/24/classic-post-a-moment-of-reflection/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:07:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Classic Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beaver]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immaturity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poop jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poop story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turning 30]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=156</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I know that I personify a simple refusal to grow up, and I don't care very much either. But sometimes things happen that make me think that maybe I have taken things too far.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/03/24/classic-post-a-moment-of-reflection/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Story of Integrity in the Face of Sheer Embarrassment</title>
		<link>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/03/19/a-story-of-integrity-in-the-face-of-sheer-embarrassment/</link>
		<comments>http://unpaidentertainer.com/2009/03/19/a-story-of-integrity-in-the-face-of-sheer-embarrassment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2009 02:58:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mike</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reflections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choke the shitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feces]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gross]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poop story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shameless shitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stories of integrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://unpaidentertainer.com/?p=148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It isn't often that I am able to witness an act of absolute humility and shamelessness as the astute acknowledgment of private, personal dirty deeds gone way, way wrong.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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