4-25-08
I've grown entirely disenchanted with the movie-watching experience
as of late.
For the past couple of years, it seems that even the best
movies that come out are only slightly better than average when
you consider
plot, acting, etc. I probably feel this way because I see movies
as an expression of sorts: A piece of art created for the enjoyment
of the audience. The efforts that have been put forth as of late
seem quite shallow, unimaginative, poorly executed & downright unoriginal.
This all came to a boil when I rented "There Will Be
Blood" this
past weekend.
I cannot remember ever being so thoroughly disappointed in a movie.
Sure, the acting is fantastic. Daniel Day-Lewis is arguably
the best actor of his generation. The supporting roles were also
well-cast and well acted.
I realize that the allure of the movie wasn't the story so much
as it was the acting of DDL, the character he brings to life, etc.
I guess that's the point I am trying to make.
At what point did the selling point of a movie shift from it's story
to it's character(s)?
The problem is, movies in general don't seem to have interesting
characters OR stories. They've become over commercialized, relying
on the names of the actors and directors attached instead of actually
putting out a quality product.
I guess I am irritated by this mainly because movies could
be so much more that they usually are. As a medium of entertainment,
they're almost completely forgotten as a means of how I decide
to spend an evening.
And they wonder why overall people are watching less movies.
1-21-08
I stumbled across this short news story the other day. Here's
a link (click the link to see a picture of the suspect).
"A Spartanburg mother is accused of stabbing her son several
times Christmas morning, but her son is the person facing charges.
City police say it appears the mother, 45-year-old Tammy Jones, stabbed
her son because he urinated on her while she slept in her bed.
21-year-old Michael Anthony Carson, nicknamed Pooh Bear, is charged
with aggravated assault and battery. Police arrested him at his mother's
home on Wednesday.
City police say Jones stabbed her son six times with
a butcher knife. He suffered wounds to his shoulder,
calf, and chest. Witnesses in
the house heard Jones say "why
did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A
few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama
you done stabbed me."
Investigators say this type domestic dispute is rare,
but they take it seriously, “Oh, we take everything like this seriously.
An assault as been alleged, certainly we're going to follow up on
it,” said Lt. Ron Cantrell with the Spartanburg
City Police Department.
Spartanburg hospital treated and released Carson after minor surgery
to make sure his mother's knife did not penetrate his heart.
The city does not plan to charge the mother unless the solicitor's
office sees otherwise."
1-11-08
I've got some fucked up friends.
Last Sunday (today is Friday) right
before I went to bed at about 11 PM, I received an email from
a good friend of mine. The email was to show me pictures of himself,
his wife and their three-week-old newborn baby boy.
Later that night I was sound asleep
when I was awakened by a familiar sound. My cell phone was going
off
at
exactly 12:30
am. I sleep with the phone fairly close to the bed,
since I use the phone's built-in alarm clock feature to wake
up in the morning. By the time I had awakened enough to figure
out that someone was calling, the ringing had stopped.
I blew it off and tried to go back
to sleep. Then, about 60 seconds after the phone stopped ringing,
I heard the three loud beeps that go off whenever I have a voice
mail message waiting.
I laid there for about 30 seconds,
deciding whether or not to ignore the message and deal with it
in the morning. I decided I'd better see who was calling,
just in case someone was
in
trouble
or
something and needed my help.
I squinted at the display on my phone.
Looking at the bright screen after waking up from a dead sleep
in my dark bedroom was like staring
through a telescope directly into the
Sun. The display
read "One Missed Call". I checked the caller ID and it said [name
removed], the same person who'd emailed me earlier that night.
I dialed my voice mail. Here is what
I heard.
I am just going to let the voce message
speak for itself.
9-14-07
Oh Happy Day!!
Meet the newest addition to the family, Paco.
8-28-07
Twenty minutes ago the doorbell rang. This is an unusual
occurrence for three P.M. on a Tuesday afternoon.
When the phone rings and the caller is not immediately
identifiable, I generally don't answer. Same with when I receive
an unexpected visitor at the house. Most of the time, I don't even
get up to answer the door.
I was in the basement of the house, writing a different
essay for this site when I heard the doorbell. After immediately
dismissing the idea of answering the door, I reconsidered. I decided
that
it might be worth seeing who was
at the door after all, for the oddball
chance that it's the kid that occasionally mows the grass, since
the grass is tall and I'd rather not cut the grass myself if I
could help it.
I peeked through the leaded-glass window of the front door
to see the distorted image of a tall, slender white man beginning
to make his way back down the front steps. The
lawnmower is a pudgy, 14 year old black kid from the neighborhood.
Well, maybe this guy is here to mow the lawn. I decided
to answer the door and see what he was selling.
The man was professionally dressed and carrying a clipboard.
Why did I answer the door? I instantly thought to myself.
"Hi, I'm "Paul" from Such and Such Church," he
greeted in an enthusiastic tone with a definitive Austraulian accent
as he
made his way back up the steps. He told me the real name of the
church, but I wasn't listening at the time.
The church in question is about a block and a half away.
"We're just trying to meet with some of the neighborhood
residents trying to see how we can better serve the community.
Would you mind participating in our survey? I'll only take a minute
or two of your time."
"OK, but I worship the devil," I offered matter of factly.
Paul smiled playfully and looked down momentarily as he
clicked his pen and clipped a fresh survey to the front of his
clipboard.
"You think I am kidding, don't you?" I said, never breaking
eye contact.
"Ohh, people give all sorts of crazy responses. I'm used
to it," he replied, still looking down at his questionaire.
"So how long have you lived here?" He read, the smile still
evident in his tone.
"We sacrifice goats in the basement and drink the blood."
Maintaining my stoic facial expression was getting to be
more difficult.
"You sacrifice goats and drink the blood..." Paul's smile
started to fade into more of a disturbed, serious look.
"Yes we do. You're welcome to join us. We're always looking
for new members."
"Ummm, thats ok. I don't have much of a taste for goat's
blood." Any hint of amusement in Paul's demeanor was long
gone. He began to back away slowly toward the steps.
"Well, we mix it with Vodka. Takes the edge off. It's kind
of like an authentic Bloody Mary." I had to suck my cheeks in slightly
and bite hard into the insides of my cheeks to maintain my composure.
"We have eight members. We meet at midnight every Saturday.
You should come."
"What, if anything would you like to see the Church do in
the community?" He continued his survey like a good soldier of
God, reading nervously from the paperwork.
"Can we use your basement once a week?" I asked enthusiastically.
This was met with a look of genuine terror. I smiled brightly,
and informed him that we were atheists (the truth, well at least
I
am). I told him I don't have a problem with the Church, it's just
not for me.
"It's just not for you. Well, I can respect that." Apparently
being an atheist is much less frowned upon than being a goat murderer.
"You mean... you don't really sacrifice
goats?" The relief and hopefulness in his voice was very evident.
"No, it's against city ordinance." I said with a sinister
grin.
Paul smiled and we finished his survey. He then shook my
hand and left abruptly.
8-1-07
I suck at keeping up with things.
I am not sure why this is, but it seems like months and
sometimes years go by after a piece of software, or hardware, or
technology is released that I find out about it and subsequently
get around to checking it out.
Perhaps this is because I don't spend enough time reading
public message boards and forums, which seems to be the only place
where I learn about such goodies.
Or maybe I am just old, and if something seems too complicated
or implicitly unnecessary I just disgard it as rubbish.
I found a gizmo on the internet called "StumbledUpon.com".
Actually, I heard of it a while back and never checked it out until
now.
In a nutshell, you sign up, choose a bunch of topics and
download a toolbar for your browser that allows you to surf and
rate websites that all fall within your range of topics. I've found
lots of cool shit so far.
I've had it for a week, and I love it. I highly recommend
it to anyone (and if you do have it by chance, how about giving
this site a thumbs up? K, thanks).
7-23-07
I saw the shittiest of shitty movies last week.
Now I've rented movies I was disappointed in before, obviously we
all have. And even when I do, I really don't feel like I wasted the
$3.49 or $30.00 I spent at the theatre or whatever, since I usually
get something out of the experience.
The movie "Team America: World Police" had been recommended
to me in the past. I always blew it off, though, since I have always
found South Park to be just abysmally unfunny and irritating. Therefore,
anything created by it's creators must also parallel SP's unstimulating
and unamusing premise.
At the urging of a couple of friends of mine, I finally
rented it.
I wanted to turn it off and shoot my friends approximately
six minutes into the movie, which is when I irreversibly realized
what a fucking piece of garbage this movie was. I ended up sitting
through
about
45
minutes
of
it without
laughing a single time. Absolutely without prejudice the worst
movie I have ever been exposed to.
The thing is, I am easily amused. Very easily amused. I
don't know. I am not sure why anyone would find humor in random
and highly frequent interjections of the word 'fuck' in almost
every scene of the movie, as well as the theme song. Maybe 13 year
olds would like it... but the two peole who urged me to see this
are 31 and 48 years old... apparently their sophomoric tendencies
just got the best of them.
7-4-07
NBC has a new show that eclipses the
shittiness of all it's other shitty shows combined.
It's called the Singing Bee.
People get on stage and sing along
with a backup tape. Suddenly the tape will stop, and the contestant,
or fucking retard as I'd like them to be called, has
to continue singing the song's lyrics accurately. Tone and quality
are not part of this competition.
I hope no one watches this. No one
in the whole world.
The first time I saw an ad for this
I wanted to shoot myself in the head. People actually get paid
to develop these horrific shows? How? Why would they think anyone
would want to see this?
Just kill me. Please.
7-4-07
Today is the fourth of July, Independence
Day. Today is my favorite holiday. In fact, this is the only
holiday I actually look forward to. Anyone who knows me knows
that I don't celebrate my birthday or any other holiday per se.
I acknowledge them for what they are, simple reminders of another
year flying by.
I am not overly patriotic, but every
year on this day I absolve myself of any responsibilities and
just enjoy the day. Like people do on their birthdays I suppose.
I chill out with the family or go on a mini vacation or whatever.
We live in the greatest country imaginable,
and we're lucky to. I am thankful for this, if the world is random,
which I wholeheartedly believe it is, we could just as easily
had been born in Russia, or Columbia, or Iraq, or a million other
places where quality of life doesn't come close to what we enjoy
here in the U.S.
I bitch a lot. I know I do. I do it
for a variety of reasons, mainly to be entertaining but I generally
mean what I say. But, I live in a country that allows this as
a fundamental right of existence. Freedom of Speech is probably
the most underrated of all of our civil rights.
For all the ranting and idiocy that
I often portray here, I will say this: I love this country and
I am proud to be an American. Happy Independence Day.
6-25-07
I have a new guilty pleasure.
It is the new dating show on NBC called "Age of Love."
In case you've missed the teasers, it's just like any other
dating show, except seven of the women are in their 40's and six
of them are in their 20's. Their ages range from 21 to 48.
I like this show for a couple reasons.
I like the guy. His name is Mark Philapousis, and he is
a 30 year old top ranked tennis pro from Australia.
What I like about him is that he seems real. I believe this
because of his demeanor when he has to eliminate one of the women.
He seems legitimately troubled by having to break someone's heart.
Furthermore, his comments after meeting "Tessa", the 23
year old blonde with a smokin' bod and a giant rack were spot-on.
He basically described what was going through his head when
she approached him. "Keep your eyes up," "she's looking at
me don't look down," were his thoughts as he described.
He also said he didn't hear a single word she said. Let me tell
you something. Every single man in the world has had that exact
same conversation with themselves.
The other thing about this that I find interesting is that
it appears that there are certain male attributes that are universally
attractive to women.
This guy seems to have it all. He's the proverbial tall
dark and handsome, plus he's also athletic and well-to-do.
Is the same true for men? Is there a perfect woman that
every man would want to marry? I guess this could be, but somehow,
I doubt it.
From the looks of it, he is going to choose Adalaide, a
26 year old brunette.
Along with her, Lynn is my favorite. She's a 40 year old
with a fresh, youthful, hopefulness to her face. But, there's no
way he's going to choose a 40 year old to be with.
EDIT 7-3-07
THIS SHOW SUCKS. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING. I DESERVE
TO BE BURIED IN A SHALLOW, UNMARKED GRAVE ON THE CHUM-LIST FOR
SAYING I LIKED IT.
6-18-07
The fiancé had the opportunity to get a few free
magazine subscriptions as a reward for doing something good at
work. After
she picked the ones she wanted from the list we had to choose from,
she let me pick a couple.
The selection was pretty sparce. I picked "Golf Magazine",
"Stuff" and "Maxim".
All three of my first issues arrived this week.
The golf magazine was decent, and I can see where people
would pay money to receive it. But who the hell would ever actually
buy Stuff or Maxim on purpose?
These magazines are like Playboys for guys whose wives won't
let them get Playboys.
The articles are fucking terrible and utterly useless. Who
the fuck needs lessons on how to dig a horseshoes pit? Or diagrammed
lessons on foosball strategy? Or instructions on how to properly
ride a mechanical bull? The interviews in the magazine are mildly
intriguing, but they're only
like eight
questions
long,
followed by six pages of scantily clad photos that wouldn't give
a 10 year old a boner.
The funniest thing about this is that there are several
magazines of this genre; it perplexes me that there are that many
pathetic men in this world.
6-2-07
I saw a couple of good movies lately
that are worth mentioning.
Pan's Labyrinth. It was definitely
not what I expected. I had in mind something similar to the old
Labyrinth movie with David Bowie, but it is actually nothing
like it. The movie is set in 1944 Spain, so the language spoken
is Spanish and therefore the subtitles take a little getting
used to, but other than that, this is an excellent movie.
The other movie I saw recently was
Apocalypto. I really liked it, although its not the type of
movie that appeals to the masses.
What makes this movie worth watching
is the imagery and raw primal emotion portrayed. It is about
the ancient Mayan civilization at the tail end of their existence.
It is my understanding that the movie's portrayal is historically
accurate.
The movie is violent and very graphic;
possibly gorier than "Saw III" was.
5-26-07
It's a strange nuance in society how language changes and
adapts over time.
New words are created, usually by pop-culture
or individual companies. Words like 'bling-bling' and 'google'
were
non-existent 10 years ago. Now, they're part of everyday language.
It's also bizarre how words change meaning. A couple recent
examples are exceptionally noteworthy.
The word ridiculous used to mean something to the effect
of extremely proposterous, or outrageous, etc,
and it was never used in the context of something positive.
Now, the word is used to express something excellent. You
hear it all the time in the world of sports. 'His receiving
skills are ridiculous', 'A-Rod has been ridiculous this
month with all his home runs'. It's annoying, unimaginative,
and ...ridiculous.
Another word that I myself am guilty of overusing is the
word 'gay', and I am ashamed that I often cannot find a better
word to describe something that sucks (I would naturally use the
word
'ridiculous', but 90% of the people who read it would misinterpret
me).
This is another word that has shifted meaning. Originally,
it simply meant happy. Then, it was used to describe homosexual
males. Now it has shifted again, this time to describe something
that simply isn't cool.
The problem with this is that this also implies that being
gay (as in homesexual) is derogatory. The fact is, I like gay people.
As I have said in other pieces, they are some of my favorite people
to know and do business with.
So, in an effort to thwart the status quo, I will make all
efforts to refrain from employing such language in my ever expanding
endeavors.
5-10-07
If you think the idea of smashing walls down with a three-pound
hammer for several consecutive days sounds like great fun, you're
partially right. It is fun, and does achieve a certain level of
stress relief, for about the first 11 minutes. The rest of the
other 1789 minutes of pounding,
then
peeling
130
year-old plaster off of the walls, then filling five-gallon buckets
with debris and hauling them out to the dumpster in an 80 degree,
dust filled environment is anything but fun.
Not to mention, the dumpster holds about 60 cubic feet of
debris, and was filled to capacity after about 30% of the plaster
had been hauled.
Not to mention, my shoulder feels like I just pitched nine
innings, my back feel like I traded place with Atlas for a weekend,
and I got so dirty from this filthy environment that, even two
showers after the ordeal was over, I was still pulling remnants
of concrete wall out of my butt-crack.
5-1-07
"Heroes" has to be the most over-rated
tv show in prime-time. What is so great about this? It's basically
a supernatural version
of "24". You have a nuclear bomb, known deadlines, corrupt officials
and extremely evil villians. NBC at it's finest.
4-27-07
I'll say this about Kevin Federline. He may be a pudwhacker
in all senses of the term, but at least he's not afraid to make
fun of himself. There's something to be said for that. His latest
endeavor, a TV commercial for Nationwide Insurance, is pure comedy
gold. I have laughed out loud every time I've seen it. Find it
on 'YouTube' if you haven't caught it. You could probably also
see it if you watched NBC long enough, but I don't advocate watching
any network where the best part of the programming is the commercials.
4-23-07
I just watched the new program "The Real Wedding Crashers"
on NBC tonight.
Wow. What a fucking abortion that was.
They have been advertising this show for about a month or
so. From the previews, it looked atrocious. I watched anyhow, if
for
nothing
else
than to see if NBC could possibly produce a bigger pile of dogshit
than that awful improv sketch comedy show "Thank God You're Here".
The answer is yes, yes they could. And they certainly have.
The thing that I don't understand, and I have wondered this
since I first heard of the show, is how do they find these people?
How does an NBC producer approach a couple during the planning
stages of their wedding and say, "Hey guys, wanna fuck up your
ceremony on prime-time TV?"
Every woman dreams of her wedding day. They fantasize and
plan and perfect every detail. What kind of sociopath does a woman
have to be to agree to intentionally destroy the biggest day of
her life? This is perplexing indeed.
And as long as we're talking about NBC, what's up with their
latest line of horrific programming lately?
It's like they ran out of ideas entirely, and instead of
trying to come up with some new fresh ideas they simply revisited
every shitty idea presented to them in the past five years and
said "Why the fuck not? Who's gonna notice?"
Cases in Point: "Raines", "Identity", "1 vs. 100", "The
Black Donnellys" (which wasn't horrible, but seems to have already
been
pulled)
and the aforementioned "The Real Wedding Crashers" and "Thank
God You're Here" are
all just horrific displays of creative ineptitude. NBC should fire
every single one of those responsible for deciding to make these
shows. Donald Trump should be in charge of NBC.
