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How is this Even Possible?

I know I said that I was done with my sophomoric musings on this site, but something so utterly ridiculous – so exponentially unlikely to have occurred that I have seriously begun to question my atheistic convictions to wonder if indeed that there is God out there somewhere, and that his contempt for me is so great that he has set his full and undivided attention and efforts toward fucking with me relentlessly. It for this reason that I have come out of retirement, for one night only, to share this most unfortunate turn of events.

Don’t Even Reply

I didn’t even think that this was possible, but there is a site with funnier want-ad interactions than even my own personal ads I’ve been posting on Craigslist for the past couple of years.

Best of 2009 – My 10 Favorite Posts From the Last 12 Months

In no particular order, here are my 10 favorite posts from 2009. Happy New Year!

What Kind of God…?

Almost every day I see a report or hear of some sort of ridiculous rituals being performed by people purely for religious reasons. I usually blow them off as they’re typically silly, pointless mechanisms that really don’t hurt anyone other aside from maybe wasting someone’s time.

But every once and again, I become truly appalled that people – real living, breathing, thinking, loving human beings can perform such excessively malevolent acts in the name of their Deity.

This headline definitely caught my attention:

200,000 animals to be sacrificed at Nepal festival

More than 200,000 buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons will be killed Tuesday and Wednesday at the temple in the jungles of Bara district, about 100 miles (160 kilometers) south of Katmandu, to honor the Hindu goddess Gadhimai…

…The slaughtered animals are taken back by devotees to their villages and eaten during a feast. The meat is considered blessed and consuming it protects them from evil.

A Word to the Wise About Domain URLs

If you’re ever inclined to start your own website, whether it’s a blog, or a forum, or an ecommerce site, you should definitely exercise caution when selecting your domain name.

Take the website ” Pen Island”, for example. They sell promotional items that are customizable for giveaways and such. The name of their website, penisland.net, might not be the best representation of their business with respect to the type of clientele that they are looking to attract.

And just as a word of warning, I’d advise against visiting the same domain with a ‘.com’ extension – unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Just in Case You Need a Deterrent to Picking Up Craigslist Hookers

Charging that Craigslist remains a “one-stop shop for all your prostitution needs,” a Florida sheriff yesterday announced the arrest of 28 women who allegedly advertised sexual services on the popular online classifieds site. Dubbed “Operation Hot Date,” the undercover police action also netted several pimps who worked with the alleged hookers…

I Hope They Serve beer in Hell – Movie Review

In reference to this post that I made a couple of weeks ago, I finally made it to the theater to see Tucker Max’s “I Hope The Serve Beer in Hell”. The movie was platform released three weeks ago; this was the first weekend that it was being shown at a theater in my city.

Craigslist Ad: Missed Connections – Fat Black Woman at Meijer

You were there with your three kids (I presume they were yours). You were wearing an ADIDAS jumpsuit with matching pants that were lime green/radioactive pink colored. You might remember me – I was the guy with the messy hair and white t-shirt and tan corduroy pants who looked like he was hungover with no job (I was) who innocently asked you if you got your outfit at Man-Alive in the Woodland Mall.

The Best Rocky Parody Ever

Three minutes of pure hilarity. Check it out.

If You Like Rants…

If you’re into rants, you should check out this site. It’s called “AdScam/The Horror!”. It is published by a 60ish year old guy who goes off several times a day on various topics – centering around the world of advertising.

I like George’s site and I subscribed to his feed. After all, any guy his age whose favorite superlatives are “Fucktard” and “Douchenozzle” is cool in my book.

You guys that found me through the updates on Rantlister.com will especially like it.