How is this Even Possible?

I know I said that I was done with my sophomoric musings on this site, but something so utterly ridiculous – so exponentially unlikely to have occurred that I have seriously begun to question my atheistic convictions to wonder if indeed that there is God out there somewhere, and that his contempt for me is so great that he has set his full and undivided attention and efforts toward fucking with me relentlessly. It for this reason that I have come out of retirement, for one night only, to share this most unfortunate turn of events.

Stop the Presses – We’ve Got More Useless News For You!!

Breaking News: Obama Kills a Fly
Yes, that is the actual headline I saw on the Yahoo! front page the other day.
I like the President, as most people seem to.  I may not like everything he does, but from a personal standpoint, he seems like he’d be a pretty cool person to hang out with, or [...]

A Failed Attempt at Manliness

I am up there with your average accountant when it comes to the ability to solve problems mechanically. I’ve always had the resource of skilled technicians who were usually willing to work for beer, so it’s been rare for me to ever have to get my hands dirty myself and I tend to avoid doing so at all costs.

The motor fired up as expected. Satisfied, I began to mow. Then five seconds later, it goes cough, cough, bog down like it’s in really heavy wet grass, cough some more, stall.

‘A few bolts here, a few more there… this doesn’t look too difficult’, I thought to myself. I momentarily thought about taking it the lawn mower repair shop that is located about 1/2 mile from the house. No, I can handle this.

Classic Post: Craigslist Ad – Seeking a Crazy Chick

Hi. I am a guy in my 20’s looking for a girl who is certifiably bat-shit crazy. I know you’re out there!!!

I am just sick and tired of meeting all of these normal, regular girls with their own jobs and places to live and their own money and their own cars. There are just simply way too many levelheaded, smart, articulate women out there today and I am bored with their stability. I want a stalker dammit!!!

MMA Female Fighter: Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos

I couldn’t help but laugh (and add captions) to this picture I ran across.

The Top 20 Comedies of My Generation

In light of my recent post regarding the lack of quality movies lately, I began to contemplate what movies I would consider to be the absolute can’t miss comedies of my generation – movies released since 1990.

Classic Post: Craigslist Ad – Nice Respectful Guy Seeks Special Lady

Do you like quiet evenings sitting outside watching the sun set? Well you won’t be able to see it with two black eyes.

A Story of Integrity in the Face of Sheer Embarrassment

It isn’t often that I am able to witness an act of absolute humility and shamelessness as the astute acknowledgment of private, personal dirty deeds gone way, way wrong.

Paul Blart: Mallcop – Is the Bar Really that Low?

How does a movie that three out of four moviegoers think is a failure manage to gross 100 million fucking dollars?

Classic Post: Female Ratings System

I first would like to declare that I think rating systems are nothing more than chauvinistic devices for guys who are insecure about their small dicks.