Don’t Even Reply
I didn’t even think that this was possible, but there is a site with funnier want-ad interactions than even my own personal ads I’ve been posting on Craigslist for the past couple of years.
Best of 2009 – My 10 Favorite Posts From the Last 12 Months
In no particular order, here are my 10 favorite posts from 2009. Happy New Year!
What Kind of God…?
Almost every day I see a report or hear of some sort of ridiculous rituals being performed by people purely for religious reasons. I usually blow them off as they’re typically silly, pointless mechanisms that really don’t hurt anyone other aside from maybe wasting someone’s time.
But every once and again, I become truly appalled that people – real living, breathing, thinking, loving human beings can perform such excessively malevolent acts in the name of their Deity.
This headline definitely caught my attention:
200,000 animals to be sacrificed at Nepal festival
More than 200,000 buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons will be killed Tuesday and Wednesday at the temple in the jungles of Bara district, about 100 miles (160 kilometers) south of Katmandu, to honor the Hindu goddess Gadhimai…
…The slaughtered animals are taken back by devotees to their villages and eaten during a feast. The meat is considered blessed and consuming it protects them from evil.
Craigslist Ad: Missed Connections – Fat Black Woman at Meijer
You were there with your three kids (I presume they were yours). You were wearing an ADIDAS jumpsuit with matching pants that were lime green/radioactive pink colored. You might remember me – I was the guy with the messy hair and white t-shirt and tan corduroy pants who looked like he was hungover with no job (I was) who innocently asked you if you got your outfit at Man-Alive in the Woodland Mall.
Stop the Presses – We’ve Got More Useless News For You!!
Breaking News: Obama Kills a Fly
Yes, that is the actual headline I saw on the Yahoo! front page the other day.
I like the President, as most people seem to. I may not like everything he does, but from a personal standpoint, he seems like he’d be a pretty cool person to hang out with, or [...]
A Failed Attempt at Manliness
I am up there with your average accountant when it comes to the ability to solve problems mechanically. I’ve always had the resource of skilled technicians who were usually willing to work for beer, so it’s been rare for me to ever have to get my hands dirty myself and I tend to avoid doing so at all costs.
The motor fired up as expected. Satisfied, I began to mow. Then five seconds later, it goes cough, cough, bog down like it’s in really heavy wet grass, cough some more, stall.
‘A few bolts here, a few more there… this doesn’t look too difficult’, I thought to myself. I momentarily thought about taking it the lawn mower repair shop that is located about 1/2 mile from the house. No, I can handle this.
Classic Post: Craigslist Ad – Seeking a Crazy Chick
Hi. I am a guy in my 20’s looking for a girl who is certifiably bat-shit crazy. I know you’re out there!!!
I am just sick and tired of meeting all of these normal, regular girls with their own jobs and places to live and their own money and their own cars. There are just simply way too many levelheaded, smart, articulate women out there today and I am bored with their stability. I want a stalker dammit!!!
God’s Facebook Page
I don’t know if you’ve seen this or not – I just ran across it on some foreign language site. I figured that since my ticket to hell has long since been punched, I’ll throw it up here and let you heathens have a look at it. Sin vicariously through me.
Classic Post: Messing With a Bible Thumper
Would you mind participating in our survey? I’ll only take a minute or two of your time.”
“OK, but I worship the devil,” I offered matter of factly.
Classic Post: Female Ratings System
I first would like to declare that I think rating systems are nothing more than chauvinistic devices for guys who are insecure about their small dicks.
